29 February 2008

You Need to Get Adjusted

Chiropractors are wonderful people. They want to help and they want to heal and they have gone through many years of schooling. They have a variety of methods and they can accomplish wonderful things for people by fixing what they call "subluxations" and putting our lifebroken crooked spines back into alignment. In a perfect world where I made lots of money and always wanted to do best for myself and best always meant the same thing, I would go to a chiropractor.

As of right now, I'm on a different compass and I don't want to be indocrtinated into a whole net of ideas about what's good for me and I don't want to go to talks and workshops and I don't want to do much of anything really because I can't fucking afford to breathe.

Don't trust chiropractors. They tell you not to drink coffee and they suckerpunch your self-esteem just when you're starting to feel okay about yourself.

I'll be glad when this week is over.

If you have need of me, I'll be buried under fifteen feet of pure white snow with my pure white dog in a room of innocent blue and pure white sheets.

2 comments:

jrs said...

You, Sir, are correct in your estimation of Chiropractors. They are a bunch of quacks. And by quacks, I mean that they think that they know what they are doing, and yet, they are full of shit. I know that this is not a solid rhetorical argument, but you know as well as I do that it is, nevertheless, true.

noiselessinfinity said...

Wait, the chiropractor told you you couldn't drink coffee?!

DIE, INFIDELS! THEY MUST ALL DIE FOR THEIR HERESY!