29 May 2008

Dear Dan







Last I checked, you still didn't own the essential leather pants. That's okay, though. Were you to wear such articles of the truly cool, it would be laughable, as you lack both the rock star cred and the ass requisite for a convincing strut in them. Furthermore, while your new acquisitions are undeniably nice, your presentation still lacks the creativity displayed above that is the true mark of a fashion genius. A necklace and a tie at the same time? A tie without a collar? A tie tucked in? All simultaneously? The result? Mindblowing. Further interesting is that I wasn't even't trying. I put this outfit together before a text message notified my I had been "powned" on some upstart rapscallion's blog. Anyone can walk into a Levi's and buy a nice pair of jeans and boots. It is the magical combination of disparate yet unified elements—like a chef making a new special to define his restaurant and earn the five star Zagat review— to unique and stunning effect that makes the man master of his clothes and not vice versa. This is why you shall always be in my thrall. Suck it? I think not, cowboy.*









*This is all in good jest. Contrary to popular belief, Dan and I don't take our clothes as seriously or as, for lack of a better word, gayly as some think.

13 comments:

jrs said...

liar.

KLA* said...

in response to my asterisk?

will you serve the crown of a liar?

KLA* said...

I can't speak for Dan, only myself. So, I'm a half-liar.

KLA* said...

good call.

frankie teardrop said...

i dunno about that collarless necklace tie business. SILLY! (now you are silly)

my old leather pants are rough and tumble. but i have a pair of skintight pleather pants i'm awfully content with these days.

modernaged said...

ZING! Look what happen when men a lil bit outside the baggy jeans box have a public "tiff." Everyone laughs at us, that's what.

The best rebuttal I can muster after the Lost season finale blew my mind (yeah -- that's another laughing matter there)?

Leather pants look like Depeche Mode sounds. Reach out and touch dicks.

So I uh ... um ... I would go on about the tie, but I just got the patent Laura "you guys are SO GAY" smack down (that laughter I spoke to up yonder). So now I'm going to download NASCAR clips or listen to Nickleback or something else manly. Soulja Boy. Yeah. Maybe beat up someone smaller than me and high-five my bros. Yeah, that sounds good. Pass me a brewski. Shut up, I'm watching the game. PROTEIN.

Thanks for getting silly with me on the intarwebs.

modernaged said...

Dan and I don't take our clothes as seriously ... as some think.

About as serious as I get is when I check to make sure my shirt is tucked in before I leave for work and that I don't drip lunch on my tie.

Oh yeah, and I ALWAYS brush my teeth. Mmmm.

noiselessinfinity said...

The title of "fashion genius" with be withheld until you can top this:

CLICK LINK FOR FASHION PICTURE (SFW)

frankie teardrop said...

"reach out touch dick"

quote of the year. i love you guys. in that "i wanna put it in yr butt" way.

KLA* said...

Chris, I don't intend to wear clothes that need their own metal light set and take up too much space to pass through doors.

I mean genius in the everyday sense, like "He has a genius for making flies for flyfishing or finding the righ spot or crunching numbers of finding the closest parking space," not in the actually creative sense.

I'm far too academic for that.

frankie teardrop said...
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frankie teardrop said...

'never let me down again' just came on random. mmmm, mmm good. it was the split mix, too.

frankie teardrop said...
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