21 December 2008

Forgetting How Good Amnesiac Is.

Oh, that Amnesiac. He is one dirty, sick, bleak little bastard. He is a nasty, perverse, mean-spirited hopeless little fucker and I have no business spending time with the likes of him. 

That is always what I think, anyway, when I think of Amnesiac (Radiohead's fifth album, released in 2oo1 before September 11, for those of you are lost—their fourth album in my book, because I ignore that Pablo Honey exists except when I'm making my Joyce-Radiohead analogy; when I'm making my Joyce-Radiohead analogy: Pablo Honey=Dubliners, The Bends/OK Computer=Portrait, Kid A=Ulysses, and guess who, yup, you guessed it, the impossibly dense Amnesiac=Finnegans Wake).

This would not be a case of "I Might Be Wrong," but I amwrong. Amnesiac is sublime. It is not uplifting, at all. I have that right. But "Pyramid Song" is so unique, so amazing, that it carres its own transcendence to it. When the antique, hermetic "You & Whose Army?" erupts into a blaring wail at the end, you can raise your fist and say SURPRISE mofo, you got more than you bargained for with this harmless intellectual. And "Morning Bell/Amnesiac," which features some of my favorite Radiohead lyrics—"Cut the kids in half, cut the kids in half"—releases your spirit when it beautifully chimes "release me." Plus, it is a hundred times better than the Kid A version, one of the only Radiohead songs I ever skip (I sometimes skip a song or more on Hail to the Thief.(The Gloaming.)). And it ends with "Life in a Glasshouse," the virtuosic and colorful hornplaying at the end of which causes me more and more to smile in admiration.

So, I used to be able to rank Radiohead albums, but I don't think I can anymore. I certainly can't give a definite number to each. Having just finished a two-day marathon wherein I played every album, EP, and b-side except for pre-My Iron Lung , I only hesitantly put forth this ranking system:

First Tier: The Bends, OK Computer, In Rainbows
Second Tier: Kid A, Amnesiac, Hail to the Thief
Third Tier: Pablo Honey






20 December 2008

Merle (Die Elecktrik)

Let it be known that I have begun listening to Drawings of Patient O.T. from the beginning for the first time and that my life will be henceforth forever changed.

Gone are the days of only listening to "Armenia" over and over and over and over again.

I am writing a paper on how destruction is necessary for creation when done correctly, comparing Neubauten and Descartes, but can be perversely twisted for wrong reasons and misapplication, such as by the fictional character Tyler Durden in Fight Club, and how paradoxes like these can be extrapolated to their most useful in the use of darkness for the production of lasting art and the union of the soul with God's love, drawing on interviews with Nick Cave and the book Dark Night of the Soul, by St. John of the Cross.

19 December 2008

Tabula Rasa



Enjoy.

Three Random Pieces of Information

1. With this much snow falling and this much work to get done, there is only one thing to do: have a shoegaze marathon. Halfway through slowdive and three-quarters of the way through love spirals downards. Up next: my bloody valentine.

2. I imagined last night what the effect would be on Christmas/holiday sales if every store in America were to play nothing but

Threnody

to

the

Victims

of

Hiroshima

all day everyday they were open.

3. Talk Talk's final album Laughing Stock, though very good, has very little to do with OK Computer. The comparisons are way overdone and OK Computer is exponentially better (maybe 11 times better?). The biggest influence I can see of this album in Radiohead's work is the free-jazz "Life in a Glasshouse" and maybe the acoustically spacious soundscape of the drumming on "Reckoner." It is certainly the kind of album that you know from the first listen is going to grow on you. It is as far away from "It's My Life" as "Pyramid Song" is from "You."

17 December 2008

Best Songs of 2008

10. Spring Break 1899
I didn't care much for Murder by Death's newest album, but its final song is a work of beauty. It has a dust-trodden downbeat whiskey-hangover feeling to it, and its ending is a perfect evocation of how longing can go on and on and on. Its final haunting full-heart sung words "Could it be you?" ring on and on and on in your head when the album finishes.

9. White Boy
"Too old for Hamlet/Too young for King Lear." Every song on james's massively good new album Hey Ma has its great line or two, and that is this one's. The chorus is an eruption that bursts through your chest. Its uneasy phrasing is part of its charm. This song is one track that proves why the new james album reminded me that trumpets can be used to wondrous effect in pop music.

8. Cats R People 2
This song is fucking fun, through and through. While probably not the best song on Qutizow's wonderful Art College (which Christopher Wheeling wonderfully reviewed, leaving me feeling like I had nothing to add to what he said and hence writing nothing), this song has made its own warm nest in my heart. Knowing Quitzow as a friend, this song just seems to emanate the kooky, eccentric loveability of who she is and speaks well of her love of cats. I like to picture cats shaking their heads back and forth, scratching turntables and singing "Treet dem wif respeck!" while listening to it. For people who like to dance and who love cats, this song offers it all, right down to the Prince spelling of the oxymoronic title.

7. Overjoyed
I've been loving this song for a few years now, since I first saw Gary Levitt perform it an open mic he was hosting. I remember one night there were these two people who did old-time country kind of songs, a guy and girl from the middle of the country. The guy had an old twangy guitar. Outside, I taught the two of them how to play the song and the three of us stood outside in the cold, playing and singing it. Gary walked outside into this sight, which must have been pretty strange: three people covering a song of yours when you haven't even released it yet. He worked hard on it, bringing it through several drafts which I offered some critique on. While I listened to it the most in 2007, it finally saw release this year on Setting Sun's Children of the Wild Not many songs truly capture what it is to be child-giddy filled with joy, but this one does. And yet it has its moment of frailty, admitting in its quietest moment, "We climbed up too high/We're falling."

6. Yes (Second Half)
Coldplay came back with a vengeance this year. I was done with them after the atrocity that was X+Y. But this album is really good. It is genuinely good. It has undeniable pleasures. Even people who didn't want to admit to liking Coldplay had to admit that with Brian Eno on the decks, this album had some pretty delicious moments. The most delicious moment for me was the second half of track six, "Yes." The album has an annoying tendency of jamming two completely unrelated songs together on one track, and such is the case here. The first half of "Yes" finds Chris Martin using his lower register (finally) to sing his typical almost-there lyrics (unfortunately) over a vaguely Eastern-tinged musical backdrop. The second half is blissed-out bright and fuzzy drum-pummeled goodness. It has the potential to transport me into a happy place just above the earth where I sit or stand whenever it comes on. Martin is singing, but we don't know what. Which is a good thing.

5. Crimewave (Crystal Castles vs. HEALTH)
This song is perfect. I have listened to it more times than is good for my health. The HEALTH outro makes it, serving as the perfect juxtaposition to the perfect artificiality of the rest of the song. The vocal/vocoder melody is perfect, simple, yet unsingable, and, as with entry number six, undecipherable. Which is probably a good thing.

4. He Doesn't Know Why
Fleet Foxes might actually deserve the hype they're getting. They are the first hippieish band I have enjoyed in years. Their Beach Boys/CSN vocalizing and harmonizing are amazing, perfectly swooping into strange shifts in key. They conjure a world of connection with nature and innocence on the verge of loss. This song is my favorite of the bunch on their debut album from this year. Why? The middle part where the music stops and gets understomped in the midpoint with two bass drum kicks in unison with two thrusts of full band as the chords move up the scale, while the singer's voice rides high on the silence in resignation: "There's nothing I can do." Countless times I have made up songs to myself walking and driving around alone with similar sentiments and words. What can I do? I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think anymore. There's nothing. There's nothing I can do. Whether there's anything Fleet Foxes can do to top this remains to be seen.

3. Better
#1: I never thought Guns N' Roses were actually going to come out with another album. #2: I never would have thought anything as cool as this song would be on it. While many people may have been let down by the new GNR, I expected very little from it, and was blown away. This song, co-written by Robin Finck, has numerous parts to it, shifts in tempo and key in numerous sophisticated ways, struts like a pole-dancer in its verses, rocks in your face in its choruses, tears you open in one of its bridges (which shows that it has been written by the most widely beloved guitar player Nine Inch Nails has ever had), and is built around a haunting, fragile chimey sing-song part. This song rocks. The end.

2. Discipline
This song is the perfect dance song. It is stupid and sexy and endlessly catchy and addictive. When I first heard it, I was like 'this is cool, but kind of forgettable, and certainly nothing to write home about after the awesomeness of Ghosts I-IV.' But then I kept listening to it. And listening to it. And listening to it. Dancing around my living room. Nodding my head to it in the office. Singing along to it in the car. I could not get enough of it. It makes me stop thinking whatever I'm thinking. My head drops down to my butt and starts moving. It is more proof that Trent Reznor is a singular genius who does not consider himself above making good, catchy pop and writing the occasional song about sex. While The Slip's "Head Down" is more accomplished and interesting work of art, it is not as addictive and innately enjoyable as this seemingly throwaway gem. I've listened to this song over forty times this year. That has to count for something.

1.Chemtrails
If every song on Beck's Modern Guilt was as good as this song, it would have been the best album of the year. Unfortunately, this song was a tease that had nothing to do with the album Beck put out a week later. This song has a different producer, a different band, a different feel—everything. The guitar solo at the end is amazing. The ecstatic bass-playing, coupled with the vigorous everywhere drumming make for an orgasmic climax, starkly juxtaposing the song's initial quiet creepiness. Organs and Beck's novacaine-removed vocals, singing about conspiracy theories and mass death, like the future cousin of "Five Years," the prophecy made complete. I listened to this song thirty-three times before the album came out on my computer alone. That's not counting walking around Vassar Campus with my headphones on. And then the album came out and I listened to it a bunch more times. It is one of the most genius creations Beck has made in a long career of genius things. It may be his final hurrah.





We Call Upon the Author
This song is too good to rank. It came at me like a fresh left hook of "What the fuck?!" to the face. I played it for my class in Lyrics as Literature and handed them the lyrics photocopied from the lyric (poetry) book(let) that came with the album, and they had the same reaction: What the hell is this and what are you doing to us? Unfortunately, I wasn't able to follow it up with the lesson I had been planning because life got in the way, but I'm glad I was able to crack open their minds a bit more with it. This song does things that haven't been done in music before. Rambling sixties-organs; cycling whirly-gigs of nothing recognizable; a stomping chugging drumbeat and bass line; a poem powerfully declared and half-sung in a way that Allen Ginsberg would have loved to hear, Cave reaching peaks of emotion, referencing his literary father and his astounding novel, the lack of unity in self-hood, the complex of terrible things happening on every level in the world right now and "what it does in your brain" and winds up talking about a friend Doug stopping by with a book of Holocaust poetry ("Hey Doug, how ya been?"), all the while sublty and ultimately tackling the issue of calling upon God, the author of the world, to explain this fucked-up creation of His, and how God does not and cannot answer (in any way more satisfying than Job; see "Kingdom of Ice" on Wovenhand's Ten Stones, which also spawned this year's bonus hidden best song—"Not One Stone"), anymore than Cave can answer the questions of kids all hopped up on And the Ass Saw the Angel, a book he wrote mostly on heroin in the late eighties—he was a different person then and his memory is not all there. In the meanwhile, the unstoppable juggernaut takes a few unexpected reprieves from its poetic onlsaught to provide a completely surprising electronic breakdown that would have sounded at home on Saul Williams's album from last year The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of Niggy Tardust, which hisses and shimmers away like a desert mirage at the end. If the rest of Dig Lazarus Dig!!! was this good, it would not only the best album of the year, it would not only be the best Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds album, it would probably be the best fucking album ever made. Before the album came out, Frank and I were at the Plug Awards as Cave got the lifetime achievement innovation award, and we howled out the title of this song over and over again. Cave delivered. This song can change your life. Next time it rains and you feel beat down by time and circumstance, play this song loud and"shake [yr] fists at the punishing rain!!!"

15 December 2008

Weekender

Sitting in a dark car, boxes of organic groceries on my lap, listening to Bauhaus's "She's In Parties," I am me, I am happy. The hippie and the goth in me shake hands, sit at the table, and break bread. The hippie in me has good taste in food and the goth in me has good taste in music. They, and the other ghostchildren in me, can all work together to make my life right. They all have their strengths and weaknesses. I am a community of selves past and present. Their border skirmishes have come to an end. Chopping crimini mushroooms, boiling soba noodles, I keep the Bauhaus on and crack a cold Guinness to enjoy with my meal.


Phil came over for the weekend. It was great to spend time with him. I've always cared more for him than I've had time to get to know him. Sometimes, people do the unthinkable. All you can do is try to breathe right next to the person who suffers these random crushing choices, tell them things that are true, and eat and drink the good things life gives us, listening to good music.

He likes to take pictures. We hung out at the house a lot, went to the galleries on campus where the permanent collections are on display and where the new exhibits by the BFA and MFA students are on display, wandered Water Street Market, and relaxed at the Muddy Cup. He took pictures and asked me to take others. Here are some.









12 December 2008

Creepy

10 December 2008

Not One Stone

And as he went out of the temple, one of his disciples saith unto him, Master, see what manner of stones and what buildings [are here]! And Jesus answering said unto him, Seest thou these great buildings? there shall not be left one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down. And as he sat upon the mount of Olives over against the temple, Peter and James and John and Andrew asked him privately,Tell us, when shall these things be? and what [shall be] the sign when all these things shall be fulfilled? And Jesus answering them began to say, Take heed lest any [man] deceive you: For many shall come in my name, saying, I am [Christ]; and shall deceive many. And when ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars, be ye not troubled: for [such things] must needs be; but the end [shall] not [be] yet. For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be earthquakes in divers places, and there shall be famines and troubles: these [are] the beginnings of sorrows. But take heed to yourselves: for they shall deliver you up to councils; and in the synagogues ye shall be beaten: and ye shall be brought before rulers and kings for my sake, for a testimony against them. And the gospel must first be published among all nations. But when they shall lead [you], and deliver you up, take no thought beforehand what ye shall speak, neither do ye premeditate: but whatsoever shall be given you in that hour, that speak ye: for it is not ye that speak, but the Holy Ghost. Now the brother shall betray the brother to death, and the father the son; and children shall rise up against [their] parents, and shall cause them to be put to death. And ye shall be hated of all [men] for my name's sake: but he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved. But when ye shall see the abomination of desolation, spoken of by Daniel the prophet, standing where it ought not, (let him that readeth understand,) then let them that be in Judaea flee to the mountains: And let him that is on the housetop not go down into the house, neither enter [therein], to take any thing out of his house: And let him that is in the field not turn back again for to take up his garment. But woe to them that are with child, and to them that give suck in those days! And pray ye that your flight be not in the winter. For [in] those days shall be affliction, such as was not from the beginning of the creation which God created unto this time, neither shall be. And except that the Lord had shortened those days, no flesh should be saved: but for the elect's sake, whom he hath chosen, he hath shortened the days. And then if any man shall say to you, Lo, here [is] Christ; or, lo, [he is] there; believe [him] not: For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if [it were] possible, even the elect. But take ye heed: behold, I have foretold you all things. But in those days, after that tribulation, the sun shall be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light, And the stars of heaven shall fall, and the powers that are in heaven shall be shaken. And then shall they see the Son of man coming in the clouds with great power and glory. And then shall he send his angels, and shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from the uttermost part of the earth to the uttermost part of heaven. Now learn a parable of the fig tree; When her branch is yet tender, and putteth forth leaves, ye know that summer is near: So ye in like manner, when ye shall see these things come to pass, know that it is nigh, [even] at the doors. Verily I say unto you, that this generation shall not pass, till all these things be done. Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away. But of that day and [that] hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father. Take ye heed, watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is. [For the Son of man is] as a man taking a far journey, who left his house, and gave authority to his servants, and to every man his work, and commanded the porter to watch. Watch ye therefore: for ye know not when the master of the house cometh, at even, or at midnight, or at the cockcrowing, or in the morning: Lest coming suddenly he find you sleeping. And what I say unto you I say unto all, Watch.

So Saith I

Everytime a computer-generated animal talks, an angel dies in heaven.

03 December 2008

Pseudo-Dionysius

Dead, dead, dead inside
Empty and nothing and snow
 not here yet. Crackle
 and drag and pull and suck.
The weight and sore.
Leaving, leaving mommies.
The smell of diapers and wipes
 and cheerios and cream.
All these bundles now boulder-
 heavy, now bunny-out-of-
 hat in reverse—
Gone, gone, gone.

Bitchery and witchcraft
 and dead, dead leaves.
Staring at haloed moon,
 trying to find fight and soul.
"What is it you want to change?"

Where to start the more 
 relevant question.
Caverns of tears made into 
 stalactites.
Subconscious descent demons 
 ravage always death's 
 sanctified halls.
Losing and falling and failing.
Alice down this hole,
Pulling punch on my Judy,
As judicious as Judas,
The archetypal Suicide King.
A destiny of betrayal.
Writing one's way out 
Writing one's way out of
Writing one's way out of the





[unfinished]

Tiny Apocalypse

Like a world
Nearing its apocalypse
Remembering its early children
         and the rites they
         ecstatically danced
Feeling its exhaustion
         its futility
         its fuelless finality
Looking longingly
         at the pitiful smallness
         of the star it once circled

I gazed at the fire
Thinking back to who I once was
And the life I once knew

Abortion

Sucked black zero,
Ghosting the edges of the night,
The night punched a hole in my face,
Whistling through the wind sockets.
Anything? Anything?
No. Nothing.
Nothing.

Observations on Women No. 2

She's pretty when she chews,
When she's first touched by the blues,
When the overachiever
 Leans back,
 Becomes almost bovine,
 And  o p e n s  to the muse.

Observations on Women No. 1

You have eyes like a Botticelli blonde,
Rapacious examiner of the miniature world.
Small birds thread the invisible air about you,
But you are too concerned to care.

From whence do you come?
Middle-aged enchantress who sets 
   the air to hum.

Loss [Part I]

Don't you ever fucking doubt
That April is the cruellest month.
And November, he kicks it in harder.
Specter-black clouds and
   spiteful biting winds
Stripping the last leaves from
  naked limbs,
  vulnerable like adolescent 
  Calvin Klein models—
  anorexic sex victims.

Summer days, summer nights are
   gone.
The drinking and laughing
  worms holes in the brain.

At night, months later,
  the dream parasites burrow
  through these holes,
  tunnels of confused bruises,
  red pear blushing
  and plum-punched blues.


You must train yourself
  not to take the rain
   personally.

As persistent as construction
  and eternal as destruction.
On a narcotic cotton candy
  high, these raindrops 
  batter you, the top of 
  your head like the ground
  in front of newly-dug grave.

Sing for us, devil.
You must be getting excited.
Or was this already boring
When you bet right on Job?

Is the sun a flourescent light
  and the world a cubicle,
  this your nine-to-five?

Jesus wept,
The saints all slept,
Promises are best kept,
But the blithering babe
  is the bastard of the bardo.


    Fix yr face &
      back to bed.
    Put the jester
      back in yr head,

    Eudaimonia
      as elusive
      & diffusive
    as the smiling cheshire

    and what he said.
    Yeah, what he said.

02 December 2008

In the Autumn of Our Voodoo

Watching you
Drop your leaves,
Russet and golden,
Day
      by
         day
Less
       and
             less
Of your ornament.

These pieces of you
Are not all you shed—
This autumn has its rain,
Falling from your head.

Watching you
Drop your tears,
Hot and clear,
Drop
        by
           drop
More 
         and
               more
Often you lament.

I try to hold you,
But can't hold myself.
I continue to love you,
Though I can't love myself.

You and I
Act fine,
Then fall apart.
With the pieces
left, we build
works of art.